Have you been told you need to forgive in order to heal?

Hello Visionaries, so glad you're here!

I'd like to talk with you about forgiveness, and the way it's presented in the world.

The current messaging I've heard is that you have to forgive somebody (in essence, absolve them of what they did) in order to heal.

I just don't buy into that.

Nah, I'm not going to do that 😂️

What got me onto this topic was an older video of Susan Lynn Spiritual Way Shower on Youtube.

She was talking about forgiveness in the way that I've heard before - where you need to forgive somebody in order to heal yourself and release the pain so you can move on from it.

She also said on the other side of the veil, you get forgiven for everything automatically.

So perhaps we can be more spiritual that way.

(Not exactly what she said, but I'm paraphrasing.)

She did change her outlook in a more recent video.

I think it's because I've been planning to discuss this topic for quite a while.

I found out about eighteen months ago that I am an expert-level projector or sender of my thoughts.

It's like I'm tossing a basketball and it's all net.

So if a person is open, as she is as an expert psychic, it seems I can get those messages through really well.

Perhaps she picked up on my thoughts then.

Let's do a little experiment, shall we?

I'm going to psychically send her my phone number and let's see....

Ah yes, I'm sure she's saying, "I got it! I got it!

It's 8, 6, 7, 5, 3, 0, 9."

😂️ (I'm such a dork.)

Back to forgiveness.

I'll give you the technique I've used for myself, and I've let other people know, that seems to help.

FYI - I am not a mental health professional.

Please seek qualified help if you need it. You deserve to heal!

The first thing you do is get that person, that irritant, out of your life.

If that irritant remains in your life, then it keeps rubbing at the metaphorical scab and reopening it.

So get that person away from you as best you can - as much out of your life as possible.

You might be saying, well Ana, that person is my ex and we have kids together.

And I get it.

Just try to make a schedule or routine so that you have minimal interaction with that irritant.

The next thing you do is let the feelings wash through you.

Emotions will rise up, as they do when you've experienced trauma or hurt.

Let's work through this by letting the trauma come up and through you, however it wants to.

Please don't try and pretend like it doesn't exist.

That's why I don't believe in forgiving them when they're not asking for it.

Don't force yourself into strange positions emotionally.

Just let it come up, and express it out of your body, in whatever way works.

For some people that will be screaming in a pillow.

Others may want to do things more physical.

I had a friend who used his katana, bashing on things.

Another friend of mine, back in the day, would throw incandescent bulbs against a wall. She liked seeing them smash.

I couldn't handle the clean up afterwards, but to each their own.

Nowadays, I suppose you'd just break some glass.

Perhaps you prefer to dance, or walk in nature, or take a bath and cry.

It's all up to you, what feels right and good in order to move the emotion through and out your body and energy field - to transmute it.

For me, a lot of moving emotions through my body is intellectual.

It makes me feel better to understand the whys and wherefores of another person's motivations.

Maybe it helps you too.

For example, my grandfather (my father's father) was a total a**hole. A horrible horrible person.

He was sexist, racist, homophobic - all the crappy qualities.

And I wondered, why would somebody be so horrible? So icky like that?

I concluded it's basically really low self esteem.

He felt the need to push down on others because he felt so inferior himself.

If he could view certain people as 'below' him, then by his comparison, he was 'better' than them.

Rather than raising his self-esteem by lifting others up, he decided to go this (frankly) sad and pathetic route.

He didn't learn, and he didn't change.

Understanding this about him helped me release the icky charge of his energy.

As you go through your own healing process - getting the irritant away from you, then washing emotions through you - it will be like multiple rinse cycles of a washing machine.

It gets cleaner and cleaner each time the emotions rise up in you and you rinse them out.

Like washing away the dirt and the crap.

Over time, the charge of the emotion dissolves, and eventually the feeling towards that individual becomes a null point.

Before you get to that point though, while you're still washing things away, make certain to bring things into your life that give you joy - that fill you up.

Something that celebrates you, that make you feel good.

It could also be something that serves a dual purpose.

For example, walking in nature can have the dual purpose of releasing and also filling you up.

Having a bath and crying is releasing, but also filling you up with contentment and relaxation.

Exercise can move the emotion through your body, while also being good for your health.

After doing these techniques, hopefully you will find you are able to release the emotional charge from what happened and be in that null space with it.

Where it doesn't affect you in the way it once did.

It happened. It was shit. It was whatever it was.

But you're not actively feeling the charge of that emotion in you anymore.

It's no longer a weight on you - dragging you down and holding you back.

That's what's important - so you can move on to all the good things you want in life.

Now you might be thinking, "If I don't forgive them, am I not being spiritual enough? Am I not being a good person if I don't forgive them?"

I feel the point at which you forgive a person is the point where they come and ask for forgiveness.

Not before - not preemptively - but when they ask for it.

Otherwise, you're removing their need to take ownership of what they did and their responsibility for it.

Even if they ask for forgiveness, you don't have to forgive them.

But if you're going to, that would be the right timing to forgive, in my opinion.

As far as what Susan said about spirit forgiving you on the other side of the veil...

The way I see it, at that time you're going through a life review.

During this review, you feel the emotions of the people you hurt - their exact feelings from the pain you caused.

I imagine the person thinks, "What did I do? What did I do?! Oh my god, I totally screwed that up!"

That's why, on the other side, they're ready to forgive you - as you experience that anguish.

But for us humans, I don't see it being necessary to forgive a person until or unless they have come and taken responsibility and are sincerely asking for forgiveness.

Whatever you are dealing with, I really hope this technique helps you.

And I wish you all the love and healing your heart can handle ❤️

Ana Kay